"Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life."

1 Samuel 1:27

This weekend we were blessed with the opportunity to dedicate Griffin at our Church. For Ryan and I it was such a wonderful opportunity to really think about and physically go through the experience of dedicating Griffin. It is the biggest promise we have made together as a couple, to raise our son up the best we can to know, love and walk with Jesus all of his life and of coarse this is our biggest hope & prayer for his life. Before the families individually prayed with Pastor Scott he talked about how dedication is seen in the bible in 1 Samuel when Hanna gives up her first born son to the Lord, leaving him at the Tabernacle to live and serve the Lord there the rest of his life. As a mother I can't imagine being able to do that, but after the service was over Ryan and I were talking and came to the conclusion that in a way that is what we are called to do as parents. We realize that Griffin is not ours, but the Lords and we are just a small part of a BIG plan God has for his life. We just want to help him along the way, giving him prayers, guidance, and love while he is with us, recognizing that we have to give his life over to God the creator of him, us, and everything. It's actually a relief to me that God is running the show here but I am so blessed, grateful, and humbled beyond words to be a part of this precious life.

Here we are with Pastor Scott and his wife Amanda praying for Griffin's life and strength to raise him in faith for us.

Ben, Valerie, and Brooke our friends from church went through dedication with us!

Some family shots on our big day!

We were blessed to be joined by family & friends for brunch afterwards, prepared by gg! YUM!

Opening some presents with Grandpa Richard

We even got some time in to play with our friends the Micks!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY MADE! Your works are wonderful, I know this full well!

Psalm 139 V. 13& 14

We are so humbled that God knitted Griffin together and then gave him to us for this brief moment on earth. We have no doubt that he was WONDERFULLY made by the creator himself and pray for a long and fruitful life walking with the Lord.

We love you G man!

Wow...it seems there is so much sadness right now. Things that are going on in our friends lives at the moment...our good family friends just lost their son (15 months) from a choking accident...another friend is having serious complications with her pregnancy...there just seems to be so much on my heart and the list is long for prayer requests. Sometimes I just feel like the burden is too much to bear and that life just seems so tragic. It seems confusing to me where God is in all of this...and over the last week or so I have been wondering about that. Thankfully for me, he is a God who is constantly pursuing my heart and isn't going to let my thoughts just linger there. Today through my bible study and a pod cast from our church, God reached down and calmed my aching heart and troubled soul as I contemplate all of this, and although I do not have answers, I at least have the assurance that God is orchestrating everything to his glory.

In 2 Peter 2:9 it says, "The lord KNOWS HOW to rescue the godly from trails...". Beth Moore went on to talk about how much we fret and worry about things, we contemplate and rehash, we wonder and groan in pain, all the while forgetting that GOD KNOWS. He has already won the battle, he knows how to pick us up and get us back on our feet. No amount of worry is going to help us up but somehow God always seems to be able to hold out a hand in our time of need. My study went on to remind me that the VICTORY in this life is not the trails that God pulls us out of (although these are cause for great joy) but the VICTORY is in FAITH...the trust we have in him before we can see or understand the outcome. I have come to realize that on this earth there are things that we can cannot possibly understand or won't be around to realize the outcome of, so if I am constantly waiting for a happy ending, my life will be so full of disappointments. On the other hand, if I am considering the victory in my life to be the knowledge, trust, and faith I have in the Lord, then no mountain is too high to climb, no trail is too big. Our pastor touched on this on Palm Sunday, when talking about the week that lead up to Christ's crucifixion. He was remarking about the chaos and confusion that the disciples were going through as their teacher, leader, and friend was put to a horrifying death on the cross. People were looking for some sort of miracle or magic...some kind of salvation from the situation. I have to admit that if I was there, I think I would have thought, game over....this situation is entirely too terrible to overcome. Yet Jesus didn't just want to save them from a bad situation, he wanted to save us in a much bigger way and give us eternal life with him. It wasn't about the moment (surprise!) with God it was about the BIGGER PICTURE!

I am humbled to say that as firm as I feel my foundation is in the Lord, as much as I would tell you that my life's purpose is to try and bring glory to Him, I am still shaken at the tragedy of this world. Thankfully, I don't have too far to fall, my knowledge and real life experience has proven every time that God is right there...just waiting (again) for me to look back up at him and let him carry the extra weight. I still don't understand just what all of this sadness is about...but I will tell you that the Lord is giving me the tools to accept that my faith in Him is the only thing that I can focus on and lean into that won't leave me empty handed. It is the hope I am holding onto for dear life.

When one of the disciples asked Jesus what he was doing by washing his feet just before he died, he answered, "you don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will." The BIG picture belongs to Him the choice to TRUST that he is working for the good of those who love him belongs to me, and is the only answer that is going to bring me peace in the chaos of this world.

Just wanted to share what was on my heart...thanks for your love and prayers.

My new alarm clock

I got a new alarm clock guys. It's weird to make an announcement about that...most people would talk shoes, purses, maybe even a car every once in a blue moon. I absolutely adore my little alarm clock. It is small, really cute, and has tons of sweet features. Only problem is that it is set for a time that is much earlier than I would like, I call this time of morning ungodly....most people call it getting up for work time (between 6 & 6:30) but I mean if it could just hold out until like 6:45 or 7 am, like in the good old days (two weeks ago). Ryan says the time change is here to stay. Take a look at it and tell me what you think, is there anyway to push back his wake up call? If there is please do not delay in letting me know! I know I will keep my little alarm, but that doesn't mean it isn't going to take a lot more coffee and a slightly crankier mommy until I get some of it in me. Check it out!

Here's what I wake up too....

...in the scheme of things, not to shabby....and with bed head, down right hilarious!

life's sweet....

When was the last time you had a really sweet moment? You know the kind, the melt your heart, ouooie goouie, down right sappy moment that makes it all worth while. It's the last scene in all of my favorite movies, and the only reason I am able to get through a book so fast...anxious as all get out for that sweet moment to savor. It's crazy to think that most of mine these days come from a living creature that is no more than 30 pounds and speaks very little English. Most moms will confess that they are desperately in love with their little ones they are, and I am no different, although I am the first to admit that my peanut and I have our moments...like when he plays in the toilet, kicks the contents of his diap. onto our play dates floor, or chucks a toy at another kid in the nursery's head. In those times, I am not remembering sweet moments I am contemplating tearing my hair out. He feels the same way about me though, make no mistake...he has no idea why I can't just throw open the latch to the great out doors so we can go play in the freezing cold, can't imagine who doesn't consider gold fish a major food group, and what honestly is so great about socks. What can I say, we don't always see eye to eye. But we do spend enough time together that every once in a while our eyes meet in the same spot and we savor every delicious second of each other. Yesterday while waiting for my beloved dog to do her business I sat tiredly against the sliding glass door to our back yard. Griffin has been desperate to have a play date with the grass out there. He gingerly toddled over to me, the way only he can, bopping his head along the way. I figured he was coming to hang on the door in protest to redeem his play date dreams when instead he shimmied his way onto my lap holding his tiny box of raisins. He struck up a very stimulating conversation in which we covered many serious and controversial subjects all summed up in his favorite word....."daughton daughton"....over and over again. He then forced his chubby little hand down into the crevice of his raisin box and came back up with one. He held it high in the air...marveled at it, "ohhhhhhhh" and then held it out to me. I opened my mouth and before I knew what was happening I had a fist full of gooey Griffin half way down my throat. When he was satisfied it was fully in, he took his hand out (wiping it down my chin first) and smiled at me, as though we had just shared something really special. And you know what, it occurred to me that we had. Sometimes life's sweetest moments are the ones covered lovingly in drool and forcefully shoved in your mouth. It's not necessarily what you pictured, but then again its unexpected and unscripted and better than you imagined. And when the day, and motherhood, and life just seem overwhelming I am trying to remember how blessed my life really is...I have a tiny person who will share their slimy raisins with me...isn't that the sweetest thing?

February...fly-by style

Here are the 3 reasons I didn't get to much blogging in Feb...my FAVORITES...

So once again, another month is here and gone. I wish that I had the time to sit and write really creative and cutsie posts...which most of you would probably skim and roll to the next picture, but I do love to write, I just never seem to find the moment. And honestly people, at the moment I have only 1 small boy, 1 small dog, and a guy I like to refer to as Ryski...all of who need lots of attention, snuggling, and meals throughout the day(what will I do if the numbers ever increase??). I guess writing and posting pics on your blog don't seem to be of upmost importance to someone with a soggy diaper and a serious need for some teddy grahams. So I will steamroll through this month for you (and promise you that my little man is tucked safely into bed with a dry diaper and a tummy full of t. grahams!)...I would skip this kind of post, but I think I would have some very cranky far away relatives if I tried to do that:)!

I like to think of February as my favorite month. Even before Ryan it was my birthday month and it is the month of love...honestly, I know Valentines Day may have been created so that Hallmark and Walmart can sell more chocolates and cards, but if you know me, you know that I think this holiday was created by sheer geniuses who completely understand the very core of me. Then I married a V-day baby and it was confirmed...Valentines Day is just the cutest holiday there is. If you feel differently, just don't mention it to me. I am serious about cards, and chalky conversation hearts, and red glittery XOXO signs, and chocolate...and hearts filled with chocolate, could there be anything better??!!

So now that the month of love is almost over, I am now taking down the hearts, sparkly red decor, and trying to eat all the left over V-day candy(we have to make room for the marshmallow eggs:)!) so that we can open the door to Spring, who any day I am sure will be knocking. G & I had a taste of it in early Feb when we went walking with our friends, on one of those day spring is teasing us.... Erin & Charlie, our favorite buddies to hang out with during the day.

G's little buddy Charlie! They see each other weekly at our bible study nursery and last week when I dropped off Griffy he saw Charlie and ran over to give him a hug...it was adorable!

Happy boys after play time in the park!

We celebrated Valentines Day and our birthdays in mid Feb and enjoyed some me & Ry time, celebrating with both sets of parents, and friends too! Ryan's parents came on my birthday for the weekend and they got to have lots of uninterrupted play time with Griffin, which I know was huge for them.

Griffin and Grandma Lori having some water

In February I also felt that I was officially initiated into motherhood with my first trip to the ER. The trip included lots of stress, tears, and trauma and that was just me. Poor Griffin fell while we were out running errands and bit into his bottom lip and hit his top front teeth. Needless to say there was a lot of blood(from Griff) and tears(from us both) but I am happy to report that he is up and cruising again, with virtually no sign of trauma left. I can't believe how hard it was to see my baby in so much pain, and I thought I had a good low key perspective on things. I fell apart...but I think I will do better if and when it happens next (the ER nurse assured us we will be back 3 or 4 times before kindergarten, and if you have met my little monkey, you would probably agree)!

Excuse me, could you point me in the direction of the snack bar please??

To wrap up February Griffin and I packed up our suits and sunscreen and headed to Arizona to visit my G & G Sapp! My Aunt Cindy and cousin Max, and mom and sister joined us and we all escaped a week of lingering winter in exchange for some sunshine and sheer delight in no coats or long sleeves. The weather was blissful, the pool was warm, and the only reason we didn't exit the plane when the pilot announced that there were flurries in Chicago and this was our last chance to change our mind and get off is that we missed daddy so much!

2 car seats+ 2 grandparents+ 3 moms + 1 Al = 1 packed mini van!

4 generations having dinner together....

Pool time with Grandpa and the boys!

This is either prom 2009...or just Al & I posing pretty cosy!

Out acting like RASCALLS!

So, here we are...imagine all 5 of us in a sedan on a little road trip...the topics discussed were broad, music was played from every genre, and deciding on the place to eat wasn't easy, but we had a great time. For Christmas Al got us all tickets to the Rascall Flatts concert in Champagne, IL...a "do something together" gift and so off we went! We had lots of great bonding time and once again affirmed to me that having siblings is one of the biggest blessings life has. Who knows you better than your sibs...and loves you anyways, takes your good...bad...cranky...or otherwise and chalks it up to one of those days...and does get annoyed with you but would come to your defense at any moment...your siblings. The faces that you have and will endure all the joys and hard things about life with. I am so blessed to have not only siblings of my own but sibling in laws on both sides who I love and adore! Thanks Al, "Here's to you!"

Aren't they cute??!!

The concert stated with a small firecracker blast that scared Ali so much she jumped out of her seat!

Part 2 of the night...out on the town, pretending we fit in with all the college kids!

...and here's to more sibling adventures!

.....IT happens....

Ole Griffy and I have had our moments these past few weeks...the kind that only a mother and child can have together. That shared embarrassment/awkwardness that you put each other in out in public. There's the classic "mom forgot my jacket" and we're out in the freezing cold, or "I just knocked mom's really hot coffee drink all over her in a long line at the grocery store while buying unmentionables", or the everyday "mom didn't pack any extra diapers and I am smelly in the nursery" type incidents...then there are the ones I would give him the responsibility for like "I just got on the airplane and puked all over my mom right before take off" or "I pooped in my diaper and then when my mom was changing me to get in the tub my diaper strap came off and all the contents landed on her bare foot".... Yes, these are all actual events in the day to day life of Griffin and as he calls me "AB", and I have put myself up for some kind of mothering award with this evidence I am sure. Today my friends, we have topped them all. I am sure I will always remember Griffin's sweet face, the way it looked today in Macy's....

Pants have never really been Griffin's thing. In fact when he was littler he would throw a tantrum when the pants were about to be put back on after a diaper change so we made up this little "pants dance" number that we would sing and shimmy them back on without him knowing. Our main problem with pants is that Griffy's legs are long and his waist is tiny, so finding ones that fit are difficult, which was the root of our problem today. After bible study I was determined to get to the make up counter at Macy's before Griffin fell asleep for a nap. We pulled up to the mall, and success! He was awake and happy, so we both gingerly bounced into the store holding hands in the parking lot. I was actually thinking about how good he was being, keeping a hold of my hand and stopping sweetly to peer into windows at the jewelry counters. I spotted the counter I need to get to and guided Griffin in the direction, focused on the destination. We had to cross an isle that opened up into the rest of the mall and just as we were about to make a move for it a woman from another counter approached little Griffin and started to talk with him. I, still "eyes on the prize" was expecting her to say how cute he was, hi little buddy....you know the usual when I hear really loudly, "what happened to your pants little boy??" I quickly surveyed the area for little boys with pants issues and decided against looking down until I could confirm she was talking to us. Dread filled me....no little boys in sight...Oh my gosh....what could be the issue with his pants, just 5 steps back they were fine???!!!??? I looked down and to my horror my little boy is standing in the middle of Macy's, straight up pants around his ankles, little white chicken legs and diaper hanging out for all to see. (Ironically I was getting new blush and let me assure you that I didn't need any after this) I scooped him up, giggled awkwardly and head held high made it to the Clinique counter. My poor baby, at least he will never remember this. He smiled so innocently at me as I pulled up his pants and tried to pretend I did not just pull my child in front of a department store full of people with no pants. Seriously...how did that happen? It couldn't have been for more than 30 seconds but it still happened...I still looked like a totally untogether mother...

As I was driving home I called my mom to tell her and she said, well look at it this way you probably made someone elses day. And if I had seen it, it would have been my smile for the day too, so chalk it up to that. I will never be the perfect have it all together mother, I will always forget something obvious, or do something to hastily but that's just me...and just real life I think, and hey at least God allows for some comedy right in the middle of everyday.