Early.

If you know me at all, you know that I am not a morning person.  My parents literally had to use every trick in the book to drag me out of bed in the mornings and I was usually still hanging onto the bed posts even if my feet made it to the floor.  They pulled covers off and rang alarms and Suzi in one desperate attempt offered to "cut me melon for breakfast"...what???  I did not get up for melon, should have tried at the very least, cinnamon rolls.  For instant results, cake!

 I feel bad now, I am pretty sure pay back from my crew will not be a delight.  But I just love to be snuggled up in bed, with a book or a magazine or my hubby just watching TV (to which he usually asks, "can't we do this downstairs so I can sit in my chair?? ha ha.)  There's something about being cozied up and just sleeping the morning away that has always appealed to me, lazy as that sounds.  Yet even as I type this I have no idea when the last time I slept past 7 was, or I  got the "recommended 8 hours" to which I always proclaimed before children I "needed" to function.  My littles have changed my life.  I live in a state of "tired" that feels relatively normal and I actually DO function, I am not going to claim perfection but I am just saying that 8 hours thing if for the birds (of birds who have babies, if you don't please keep sleeping).  The last few mornings I woke up between 5 and 6 and something urged me to get up, and I did and fine I was sick and couldn't fall back to sleep but get off my back.  What I have realized is that starting the day with time to myself to get some clean up done, answer emails, pray, enjoy my quiet house, think about the day ahead has been so great.  I love that time early in the morning to snuggle up on my couch and actually enjoy the quiet.  Yet another thing I never thought I would like, wow....I am really growing...or just getting older, and I am going to add wiser for good measure, ha!  It's kind of like when I said I'd never drive a mini van or or own a collection of spanx to go with every outfit.  Early gives me to time to be thankful and time to reflect and time to load the dishwasher hands free and time to drink my coffee with worries it'll be soon be running down my arm in a fiery volcano sort of way and it helps me to anticipate with love the moment I hear "mommy" being called out for the top of the stairs.  It's not something I am going to proclaim that I'll do everyday, I am just saying I can see the value in it.  And I think that what I love about sleeping in is the no schedule, rules or regs kind of feel it has.  The carefree, enjoy life as it comes mentality is written into the fabric of me...and so since sleeping in and eating breakfast at 11 isn't one of the ways I can enjoy that anymore, I think finding other outlets for it seems to make sense...a half hour in the mornings here and there to myself, unscripted helps feed my soul and refreshes me.  And it's not the same as it looked when I was young but it's a choice (little as it may be) to, dare I say, evolve or grow or even mature.  Schedules and timing are an admitted weakness of mine and something I will probably always have to work on, so I am hoping that my kids look to their dad for guidance on that because it is such an important aspect of living in this world.  But as far as what I have to offer, it's the importance of time endlessly spent meandering through whole foods or a garden or target if it makes you happy and having a conversation with someone you love and never glancing down at your phone for the time and reading well into the morning because you can't put it down and holding hands so long you forget where you start and stop...those are things I love.  They are not time efficient but they have their place.  So early every once in a while is going be to a good thing for me.  And on those days, so will a nap, which I promptly wont get.  But hey, I'm growing, right??!!??