Where we're at...

Oh man.  My lack of time to sit around and write blogs is pretty much a reflection of almost every other "unnecessary" part of my life.  Unnecessary at this point can be described as anything that doesn't involve a basic need of one of my children, hubby or myself (and needs of Ry and I are of the MOST basic).  All elaborate grandeurs of projects and crafty ideas and taking showers are growing a think layer of dust and some sticky cobwebs.  I might smell some days and thus a shower for me becomes a "basic need" of my husbands.  Ha ha!  I think I have hit another spot in parenting that really feels overwhelming.  I've felt this squeeze at different times during this *almost* 6 year journey of  being a mom...and although I think that all parts of parenting are a slight uphill journey, some seem like your hiking up Everest and others feel like a lovely stroll through the park.  A lot for me seems to be the combination of ages of my kids.  Right now all of my kids are at such different places and need so much from us and my constant battle is feeling like I don't have enough to give them much less have time for myself or my sweet hubs.  Let's just say we have our hands full.

The other day I had to go to the DMV to renew my license and had no choice but to bring my troops with me.  The journey started out with a once over from a woman  behind the "welcome desk" of my 3 and a warning to "keep them close, sex offenders".  What does that mean, you ask?  I have no idea...are there sex offenders in the building currently...just a general warning...are they holding a support group here?  Ai yi yi.  As you might imagine between the 3 different lines I had to wait in there was running, screaming, crying and that was just from me.  My heart was beating out of control.  When I finally got up to the spot where I could take my eye test I looked into the machine and Sawyer started to take off.  I had no choice but to hold him between my legs and try to answer the lady's questions about what I was seeing. (As a side note, the DMV people do not have a lot of tolerance for shenanigans or small unruly children.  Something to keep in mind.)  I felt Beanie slide down onto the floor while I pressed buttons for a test checking my peripheral vision.  All of the sudden I heard a sort of hushed giggle from the crowd at the DMV.  My heart sank knowing that it was most likely directed at one of the 3 people I brought along and with one glance down I located the issue.  Sawyer had wiggled so much to try to get away from me that his pants were around his ankles and he was just laying on the floor in a diaper.  You're welcome sex offenders.  Just what I needed to calm my heart palpitations, a pant-less child.  The trip to the DMV did end with a new license (I can only think they passed me on the eye test to get me out of there), and although I may look frazzled in the picture because I was holding Crosbi in one arm and holding Beanie out of the picture with the other, I can say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.  I will smile for the next 5 years every time I pull that baby out now.  I worked hard for that little piece of plastic.

There's not a day that passes by in my life right now where I don't feel just a little behind.  There's rarely an outing where I am not repeatedly saying, "sit down, don't hit, STOP STOP!!!  There is rarely a time that I get in the shower or go to the bathroom where I come out after the quickest rinse possible to find that an entire container of salt has been poured in the soup I just made or a tube of hair gel has been emptied onto the floor.  But can I tell you how sweet this stage is.  Griffin says the most amusing phases, sometimes in the right place and sometimes not.  I'm still his girl, in fact I got asked to be his Valentine and he asked to buy a card for someone who is having a birthday but wouldn't tell me who (haha, I went along with it and bought the card...and I can't wait to receive it).  Sawyer is also killing me with cuteness.  He only refers to himself in the 3rd person.  "Beanie" do dat and do dis bounces in refrains up and down our hallways.  He says the cutest, "wove you" and melts my heart with the loving he gives his sister.  Baby bright eyes just flashes her sweet smile and we all light up.  She has something new and noteworthy almost every day to awe us.  This is a hard stage though.  Everything in life has those.  They do make the victories sweeter. They do make me sit down and think, I can't do this.  They do MAKE me start every morning asking God to give me the strength to parent with love and patience and grace.  I literally have no idea how else I would make it.  And someday, sooner than I think, I will miss getting into bed and being jabbed with a transformer or opening the door to a cop who received a 911 call from our home.  But for today, I am just thankful we're all feed and dressed and alive and I am thankful that they are messily mine.  I wouldn't have it any other way.