Guess Who???

Guess who yelled "MA" at me yesterday??

Yep, this perfect little porkchop!

Even Griff stopped in his tracks and said, "Hey....Beanie said mom! I want him to say Griffin!" It was cute! And even it if it was more just a random sound, he still gave me the sweetest smile ever when I turned around and acknowledged it and it still melted this little heart! I can't wait to hear it more!

Becoming Mommy Me

As I was working in some Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo into my hair for the third morning in a row I started thinking about life before little ones. Back before every square in of my life, my house and my heart was covered in Cheerios and Lighting McQueen cars and sticky finger prints and spit up....I mean there was a point in my life where I was actually on top of buying MY shampoo before it ran out...and it wasn't anything special or expensive, it was just mine. Now I am just thankful for the never ending supply of yellowy orange tear free shampoo that seems to be stuffed into every drawer in my house in travel size bottles (as if moms of small children do so much traveling)!! I have no idea where it comes from, but we always seem to have it on hand. Being a mom leaves little room for things that are just mine. I was prepared in part for the transformation that doing this job would be...at least I figured I was, since I had been obsessed with baby dolls since childhood and I ran kid camps in the summer and worked at a day care and babysat all the time and taught 2nd grade. I figured the trip from being a working wife to full time mom would be sort of like a walk across a small stream....a few rocks on the way but relatively a quick and easy trip to the other side. Some days are like that, flawless and lovely and sweet. And others it feels more like what the pioneers must have felt, already exhausted and run down, when they reached the Mississippi and realized that they had no other choice but to figure out some way to cross this daunting and massive body of water...turns out it 'aint just some bubbling brook and neither is motherhood!

This got me thinking about being a parent....becoming this whole other version of myself. If I could go back and prepare myself for this journey, even just a little bit, what would I say to ease myself into the transition? Is there anything you can say:)? Here's what came to mind as I was thinking it over, and since I am not yet through fully transitioning into "life as we know it" I think I may re-read it over and over to remind myself on the hard days and encourage myself on the good, what this is all about for me.

Dear Pre Motherhood Me:

You are about to become a mother. The position you have waited your whole entire life to hold. The one you obsessively imagined as you cradled your beloved American Girl baby Doll. The one you pictured yourself doing as you babysat and nannied your way through high school and college, and then added Ryan into the day dream some years later. The day is finally here when you will hold a sweet pink toed little bundle in your arms and call him your own. You will snuggle and hold and hug and dress him. You will pack him up in that adorable little car seat in the cutest outfit you have ever seen and tote him around to coffee and lunches and get together so he can meet all of your friends and family and neighbors and grocery checker outers. Everyone will tell you how cute he is and marvel at the miracle of his existence and you will just know that your baby must be the most adorable creature on earth. He will sleep soundly to your lullabies and wake with a smile ready for a new day.

....And yes, sweetheart I am here to tell you all of this is true. You think you have felt your heart "melt" at perhaps a really cute puppy or some sappy movie, but when you look down at your baby you will LITERALLY feel this sensation, heart melting like butter on hot toast. Your baby will be the sweetest, cutest, pink bundle of love you have ever laid your eyes on this side of heaven (and this will be true for each additional child). You will actually experience a kind of explosion inside from the adorableness of tiny toes or a sweet smile or the first time you hear MOM being called in your direction. You, a person who formerly would catch a spider crawling in your house in a cup, and set it free outside, would actually consider murder at the thought of someone harming this sweet soul that now resides in your care. You are sure there is nothing better than a newborn snuggle and then your baby reaches for you and then calls out for you and then hugs you and kisses you and then says "I LOVE YOU" and you resolve that each of these affectionate gems are just all treasure in the chest of motherhood and each is as priceless as the next. Each stage has something to wonder at, admire, stand in awe of and savor. The relationships in your life take on a new dimension...people that love on your kids become heroes, your parents...saints and life savors, your spouse is basking in this same baby love you are and sharing in this quest together deepens your marriage in a way you didn't think possible and the Lord is just a step closer in your heart as you can't imagine this angelic creature coming from anywhere but a most loving God.

And while all these feelings are absolutely real and wonderful they are not the only side of the story in motherhood. There is a side that is going to test every single idea on the subject you have ever had. It will stretch you (body and soul) in ways you had no idea you could stretch to. You will wonder where YOU went in between all the kid stuff that has filled every minute of your everyday. It starts from the very beginning. You know from TV and movies and such about the typical woes of pregnancy, so I won't brief you on those. It's after the arrival where things start to get REAL. No one ever tells you what happens to your body after you have a baby....and now that I am thinking about it, it might just be that it is one of those "bridges you cross when you get there" kind of things, so I'll just let you figure it out. But while you are waiting for your belly button to return to normal (much the equivalent of waiting for pigs to fly) you will be entering the everyday, and that is where things get dicey. Somewhere between wiping the spit up out of your hair and feeding that little milk machine you will wonder what has happened to you. Your sweat pants have taken a full time position on your legs and your high heels?? They have a fine layer of dust collecting on them as we speak. You will realize that as silly and strenuous as those observations from your boss seemed, at least there were check points, feed back and encouragement where as this new one rarely comes with even a thank you. You will wonder if you are doing things "right". You will sit straight up in the middle of the night and literally ask yourself...how many days in a row is too many to feed your babies mac n cheese? And what about vaccinations and organic food and did you paint the nursery with toxic fume paint and are you reading them the recommended number of books each day in order to produce a future college graduate? You will worry like you never have before. Anxiety will actually grip your heart about when to introduce dairy into your baby's diet. Big fat alligator tears will roll down your face as you realize your kids will experience heartbreak, just like everyone else and there is nothing you can do about them...in fact you will probably cause the first few. Your furniture will have slime and Cheerios and goo in every crack and crevasse. The beautiful tray you got for your wedding will get smashed onto the floor and you won't have money to replace it because you are trying to pay for "kid rock" classes and match box cars and all that organic food. You will have no idea what the latest tunes on the radio are, but you will sing quite the rendition of Yo Gabba Gabba's "Don't Bite Your Friends" most of the day. You will get all dressed just to get puked on.

You will lose your patience, your keys, sleeping in, going out, your privacy,

your sense of normal.

But, never fear. I am here to tell you that a new normal will set in. You will cherish memories of the days with just you & Ry, but then you will wake up some morning and in between you and that husband of yours will be 2(+) extra sets of feet, and all will be right with the world. Because you see, being a parent is the hardest job in the world (your doctor tells you so every time you go in for an appointment!) and you are doing it and for those 2 sweet smiles it is worth it. Dad once said, that anything worth having is worth working for, and that is more than true with parenthood. Sometimes I wish I had enough money to get a nanny to do all the hard parts and then I could just swoop in and read stories and play games and do the fun stuff. But the best and most beautiful things in life always have tough patches and brokenness and distress. That's how you build relationship and trust, and that's why the things you really had to work at look so darn beautiful and priceless. Being a parent will force you to grow up and your heart to grow out, and sometimes growing hurts, thats just life. It will force you to love more fiercely than you ever have before. And the most glorious thing about being a parent? That you really get Jesus more than you did before. I know it sounds cheesy but you do. You get why it would be such a sacrifice to send your son to die in a VERY tangible way. You get why he wanted to do it. You see why he loves us and forgives us and wants the things he does for our life. You are a parent now, and he is your parent...and we want the same for our children. Any experience in life that gives you that perspective is worth every ounce of hardship and effort you put in. Amazingly enough, he set up that way. And don't worry, YOU are still there. You still love all the same things and have all the same talents and love your husband for all the same reasons. Parenthood is just giving you the opportunity to adapt all of those things into a new situation and use your gifts in new ways!

So enjoy each step. Don't take anything too seriously. Cry when you need to. Love your kids like crazy. And remember to laugh, that will get you through....everything is temporary, like it or not.

-"Becoming" Me

Happy Birthday Abe!

Happy Presidents Day!

Love, Griffy

He made this at school last week...so cute!

With kids even presidents day is a kick!

"love"

My Valentine from a girl who doesn't love Valentines Day, but totally loves and gets me!

Thanks Casey:)!

It's my "favorite"!

With LOVE from Beanie & Griff

February is for Celebrating!!

February at this house is a month for lots of celebrations, and that we have had! What a great last few days! Here's my King of Hearts and Heart Breaker starting V-day off right! Thanks GG for the cute Valentines gear!

He seriously is a little heart breaker, isn't he???

(or at least his momma will always think so, it's my job:)!!)

We started off the celebrating at my mom's house for a seriously quick get together with my brother Andy, his wife Julie, my sister Ali and her boyfriend Dave! Andy and Jules came in late on Friday night for a wedding so we had just a few short hours of celebrating together but we made the most of it and it was a blast!

Suz & Wayneski made baked Alaska and we got 2 candles to represent our last year in our 20s!

Suz's beautiful Valentine table

The February Birthdays - gift theme??

New Coats!

We spent Saturday night at our house snuggled in for a Valentines Day "Family Night"!

Griff had to follow a treasure map to find some Valentine booty (a word which he loved by the way!! HAHA!)

and the boys gave each other a car and plane respectively, and they have played with the "brother" gifts non stop ever since!!

We ate noodles and caught a showing of Charlie Brown's Valentine before we wrapped up the night! The boys and Ry made me this amazing pink card with all the right details! They know me so well:)!

Monday morning (TODAY!!!), is Valentines Day! Happy Birthday Ryan!

So, in a Valentine tradition that has lasted 29 years to the day, I wore Ryan's mom's heart pin that says " I love Ryan"! She got it on the day he was born on wore it every Valentines Day until the year we got married and then gave it to me, and now I wear it. Isn't that sweet??:)

And this year I got the GREAT privilege of helping at Griffin's school for the V-day Party! A great time was had by all 8 three year olds while they played heart themed games....

and treasure hunted for the letters to the word VALENTINE

and passed out cards

and Griffin was even the snack helper, who happened to sneak in a few snuggles with Mrs. Stabb while passing out the snack names, what little stinker!

After school we came home to find a package full of LOVE from Grandma and Grandpa Eccleston! It was such a great surprise!

They love these little bears!

Life is for celebrating and in this month we do it often! We are blessed!

Happy Valentines Day!

Some 7 Month Love

So I may go a tad indulgent on these pics from our 7 month mini session:)!

I am in love with these pics because taking them was quite battle for the two of us due to the fact that.....

7 MONTH SPOILER ALERT:

Beanie man is crawling!!

Yes folks, he is ON THE GO, and my whole life is about to change!

Even though he was constantly moving towards me and trying to eat the camera lens, I still got a few smiles and captured those baby blues! You rocked up on your knees all month buddy, and now you can finally get somewhere!

So Beanie, at 7 months you are really coming out of your shell...

Those smiles light up my day especially now that you have 6, yes 6 adorable little teeth. When ever I see you flash your top ones I can't help but chuckle at the precious teeny gap between the two of them. You full out giggle and Griffin endlessly tries to get it out of you by pretend hiccuping which for some reason always makes you laugh:)!

And teeth lead us to eating, which is something you LOVE! In fact you ate your first Cheerio just today! I can't get enough of watching you bring a puff to your mouth! It takes SO much concentration on your part and you work so hard just to get that little guy in there and then you chomp it proudly between your gums and smile! You haven't been super picky thus far, everything I have made you gobble right up. Here's a few quick shots of some of the Beanie food making process, this was steamed pears and then we added bananas!

This is you ready to partake of some delishious baby delicacies! You are such a BIG boy in your high chair.

You love to play, watch Griffy and if I am on this computer....you LOVE to move towards the screen and tap your gooey fingers on all the keys! You love it when we sing and dance for you! You are finally giving up one of your night time feedings (fingers crossed), so I think in the next few weeks here I may be able to catch up a little on sleep

Here you are sitting, a skill you have confidently mastered now, even in the tub! Guess what eles I saw you do in the tub just tonight? Try and pull yourself up, oh boy I am in trouble!

You are really hitting a phase here where almost every day brings something new for you. It's really exciting and a little bitter sweet too. I am putting away the "baby" baby stuff, your swing and bouncy seat and moses basket have to go downstairs and wait for the next *God willing* Eccleston baby and we'll trade them for outlet plugs and gates. You are still my boy for sure, and I really do love that we have that little bond and will take it as long as I can. The days to hold you and snuggle you and be the one to calm you down and smooch you all over are numbered so I am trying to cherish each one! On the other hand though, if you stayed little I would never know if your hair really is going to curl or not when it gets longer and what your teeth will look like all grown in and what it will be like to hear you call me mom so I guess I will have to let you go...I can't wait to watch all of those mysteries unfold!

Lastly, here is the orange blankie shot! It took way more work to get it this time because you immediately want to flip to your tummy and skiddadle when I lay you down, but we got one...even if you are practicing some baby yoga moves in it!:)

Happy 7 months sweet boy!

10 things I love about the Birthday Boy!!

1. I LOVE the sweet relationship he has with this kiddo. They have their own inside jokes, their own music & dances, their show (Phines & Ferb) and they just have a way together that fills Griffin up with just what he needs. It's awesome for a mom to watch!

2. He is endlessly patient with me.

3. He is creative & indulges in my creative whims with me. (Seriously he puts interest into my wedding invitations and talks "font" with me)

4. He is a dreamer.

5. He has grown over the past 5 years into such an incredible person, and he has allowed God to get in there and do all that work. I have been blessed to watch and be a part of it and I am so proud of you.

6. He has a special voice he uses when the kids are babies and it literally melts my heart.

7. He encourages me and points me towards the Lord on a daily basis,

and does it for our kids too.

8. He knows how to make me laugh like no one else in the world.

9. He is a hard worker at his job, at our home and on what ever task he is asked to do.

10. He loves Jesus, me and the kids and is building his life on that.

He also is a great dancer and loves to eat dessert with me:)!

I love you Ryan Patrick Eccleston. 9 years ago I called you on Valentines Day and your plans had been canceled because of snow, so I wondered over to your dorm room with cheese cake and the rest in history! Love you, our life, our boys....how blessed I am to be your wife!

February Frenzy

It's already February, and by February I mean the middle of....and the reason why I am in total disbelief that it is the night before Valentines Day is because this month has been nothing less than truly frantic. We have all had our fair share of little bugs we lovingly shared with each other, poor Beanie hit the worst and all have had little sleep and lots to do which will always throws this mom into a tizzy...and to top it off we threw in a little trip! One might say if they were my husband that I have been a titch crabby, but because he is the amazing man he is, he just hugs me and smiles instead, what a peach!! AH!

The first week in February this month we hit the road for Nebraska! This time it was to celebrate my cousin Amy and her wedding to Adam, who is a super creative and talented artist and awesome man of God, so we are thrilled to add him to the Sapp family! Their wedding was nothing short of creative and unique and amazing, but to my dismay my camera got left at my grandma's (remember it was a long week:)!!). Thankfully my sister stepped in to take a few pics of the fam and the wedding happenings....but she left her camera on the plane, so please pray that South West can find one orange camera so I can post you up some adorableness. I had the privilege of reading in the ceremony and Griffin was one plaid bow tied little ball of ring bearer adorableness! Here is the one pic I did grab of him circa "Tom Cruise" while trying to stuff him into his suit.

Griffin was loving the reception and even entered a dance circle to bust a move. Ry has a video on his phone, so hopefully we can get that posted!

We also made a pit stop to visit these sweet girls and their momma which always is such good "medicine" for us all! We LOVE Linds, Eve & Lyla!

We got the chance to see my sweet friend Sarah and her brand new baby Blake, see Ryan's family for a yummy lunch and get caught up with lots of family and Ashland friends. It was, in true Nebraska visit style, hectic...yet wonderful!

When we got back we did a lot of down time to recover from the trip...mommy was the one needing the most recovery time:)! At the end of the week we were invited to a Valentine's Day party for one of Griffy's buddies, Micha! His mom is my dear friend, Mary Beth, and as you can see, she is an amazing party planner, with an eye for detail and lots of sweet treats! The kids had such a great time and so did the moms!

Griff loved the cookie decorating and judging from his behavior later that day, snuck in many a spoonful of frosting:)!

Beanie in the Valentine holder we made...and Griff & I would both agree he is one sweet Valentine!

Bean and Henry doing what babies do at a party....chewing and banging on things!

Oh February, you're just getting rolling now! Much more to come:)!